this is my id.

my back is small but it is strong.

i sat in the bath today. chuck p in my hand with bubbles covering my body. and at that moment i realized that i am finally homeless. i live nowhere. and its not so much of a disappointment as it is a relief. the things i most fear in my life i tend to make happen. on my terms so i can deal with them. so its not a surprise so i know what im getting myself into. my things are nowhere. my things are in a garage. my things are in the back of my car. some of my things will be in a basement in detroit. i think i still have things in milwaukee and certainly some things in atlanta. im sure someone has bought the things that i have sold which puts my things in places i dont know. but what i do know is that these are all things. and i dont need them. 'crashing on friends couches is what its about' i heard you say. and its not so much crashing on friends couches as it is allowing myself to realize that things are things and that a big screen doesnt define who i am.

what defines me is my skin. the way i wear my skin. my brain my thoughts my writing. my heart. the people that i love. what i choose to do with this life.. these are the things that define me. 'a woman is more than her parts.' a woman is looking at her back and seeing that its small but knowing that its strong. knowing that you cant break it.. knowing that she wont bend. knowing that her back holds her up and that it is not weak.

i am defined by the will on my face and the laughter that makes me light. the smile that shows i can identify with you. the smile that exposes what i was just thinking. i am defined by my sheer determination to make something happen. my determination to read books and to write and to reach out until i affect one person. that one person who will do the same.. that one person who will effect change. our history is built by individuals who fought for what they believed in. for what was right and what was fair. and i do not mean fucking christopher columbus. i mean people who fought for something real.. the real heroes. martin luther.. ghandi.. alice paul.. people large and small who took the fall for the rest of us. alice paul was thrown into jail.. beaten.. starved.. and humiliated simply because she wanted the right to vote. the right for all women to vote and be treated equally. and tell me please what is wrong with equality.

i will not live my life in fear. of displacement. of death. of inequality.

'i mean to resist the hatred of these times in any way that i can.' - june jordan

i mean to resist hatred.

and that is what defines me.

i dont need a home and i dont need things. what i need is my heart. what i need is my will. .. and those are things that i have.

i love my body. i love myself.