a trial.

i feel like all this is an exercise. when does the test begin. the project. or is the project the exercise. philosophy. philosophical. slam it like a tequila shot. a shot to the throat a shot to the heart. tear me down. lick me slam me suck me. just like the t-shirt. just like the shot. what you need is what im not but what i am is what you want. have me. but don't judge me. don't put me in your box.

a lox bagel on a coffee night. writing to you writing for me. free dancer on the couch theres no way out. shes a lifer. shes my friend. i watched her on the dance floor like a slow motion movie queen. my glass was the screen and she shined like a light like a beacon. my lighthouse to creativity to freedom. her hair swings to a rhythm she made and we tandem create but im thinking of you and youre skewing my view. what i need now is a clear glass an unfogged window no smoke to push my finger through. an ounce of sanity of clarity this disparity is more than i can bear for me. her hair stood up on its tendrils and i touched it and i felt it just like you felt mine. and i projected myself onto her and expected her to feel the way that i do as i always do.

projection. protection. rejection.

infatuation. persuasion.

confusion. delusion.

your smile is what gets me most.

my laughter is what wont let me go.